even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
