i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize