I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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