But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
