And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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