Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize