Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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