i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
