So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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