Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
