We won't sleep together?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
