I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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