That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
