when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
