you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
