i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Randomize
