i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So. Much. Porn.
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