i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
