whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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