who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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