so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
