you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
