3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
