Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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