Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize