ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
