used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
