If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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