Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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