What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
we're making bets on your personal life
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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