id be glad to
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
