wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
