So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The Olympian is in my bed
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
