Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
