ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
farters have to be the big spoon...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
