you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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