im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
