just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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