she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
