I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
