i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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