Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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