I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
