considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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