So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
