I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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