never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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