Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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