so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
