I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
