No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
