So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
These tits shall not be calmed
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
