and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
