We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
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