She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Just puked most of my soul out..
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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