i may or may not be watching the land before time
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
