Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
How's work?
Spinning.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
