Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize