Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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