I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
