I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So vagazzling was a success
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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