yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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