I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize