I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
is it fun? or sober?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
