I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
