i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
