I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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